Pregnancy Test
by The Sarcastic Typo
Summary: You're either pregnant or dating James Wilson,' House said, his smirk widening. Slash. WilsonForeman.


**Title: **Pregnancy Test  
**Summary:** "You're either pregnant or dating James Wilson," House replied, his smirk widening.  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Pairing: **Wilson/Foreman. It's crazy, I know, but I love it.  
**Word Count: **738  
**Disclaimer **Do I look like David Shore to you?  
**A/N: **I just can't help the crazy. It comes to me in a little blonde package named "Kelly."- Thanks to her for beta'ing this, too.

"So, who's the father?" House asked Foreman one evening, after Chase and Cameron had left for the day. He'd assigned Foreman the task of babysitting this latest patient so he could have the chance to do this. "Or should I say the _other_ father?"

He smirked. Foreman's eyebrow had not disappointed – away it went. He ought to consider going on the road with that thing. Perfect sideshow: The Doctor And His Amazing Dancing Eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you've been acting moody – going from being irritable to happy in about three seconds flat – and just all around been acting _weird_. Coming in late, being extra secretive, changing your diet, you know. You're either pregnant or dating James Wilson," House replied, his smirk widening. Foreman was staring at him now, and if it wasn't _Foreman_, it'd be gawking. "Pregnant seemed like the safer bet. I should've known never to go for the obvious answer."

"I am–" Foreman struggled for a moment with his composure. He looked suddenly angry. How strange. It wasn't like House had tried to steal his boyfriend, or anything – just pointed out who it was. Since when was that something someone got angry about? "This is _absolutely_ none of your business. Have you been _spying_ on me?" Foreman asked, all indignation and righteous anger. House had to hand it to him. The switch from shocked to angry had only taken about five seconds.

"Like I _need_ to spy. You haven't been as subtle as you think you've been. There was the whole 'Wilson coming home wearing one of your ties' thing. And the 'you wearing his cologne' thing. Have you two developed amnesia recently or is forgetting that I'm really clever a sign that you just haven't been spending enough time around me?"

Foreman just shook his head. "No one _else_ has noticed. So unless you _have_ been spying on me–"

"How do you know I'm not spying on _Wilson_? He'd be the obvious choice. The best friend thing, and the _living with me_ thing and all. Easier to watch." He paused. "And how do you know no one else has noticed? I bet Chase has. He's sneaky like that."

Foreman made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. "Chase does _not_ know. Neither does Cameron. Or _anyone_, except you, and it had better _stay_ that way."

House raised an eyebrow mockingly. Ah, the day was just not complete until he could get Foreman to use the Super Pissed Off Voice. Who were those morons who said love was the key to happiness? They'd obviously never annoyed Eric Foreman. "Are you _threatening_ me? That's not very doctorly, you know. Maybe you should brush up on your Hippocratic oath or something. I'm pretty sure threatening the boss is a big no-no." He paused, considering. "Threatening anybody, really, but when they're in charge, I hear it's especially bad."

"If this gets out and something happens to James–"

"Because I would do that to him?"

"I don't know what you'd do, especially if it would annoy me."

"While it is true that I _always_ enjoy your misery – mean old doctor House and all – I'm also not _stupid_. Which you should know. It must be that amnesia acting up again."

Foreman glowered. "I want your word, House."

"Fine, Mr. Principal. I promise I won't tell anyone that I caught you and Assistant Principal Mr. Wilson making out behind the bleachers at the football game. Can I go now? I'm missing English class and Ms. Cuddy is a _total_ babe."

"_House_," Foreman warned.

"Relax. I just wanted to see if you were serious about this."

Foreman looked at him in what was obviously disbelief. Wow, he'd gotten to witness stunned Foreman, angry Foreman, threatening Foreman, warning Foreman, and disbelieving Foreman all in one conversation. This was a record of some sort. It had to be. "So you bringing this up, that was what, a test?"

"I prefer to call it an objective assessment. But if you like the word 'test,' go ahead," House said. "Now I'm leaving you here to watch the patient. Remember, no boys allowed in the house while I'm gone."

Foreman suddenly laughed like he couldn't believe what had just happened, shook his head, and started walking away.

"One last thing: you guys use protection, right?" House called after him. "I couldn't handle it if you were pregnant _and _dating Wilson. You'd _never_ stop bitching."

Foreman just kept walking.

-End


End file.
